


Is this it? Is this what you wanted?

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Apocalypse, F/F, M/M, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 20:02:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20802173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "You want a fall wedding, right?" Stiles asked, glancing between the brides."Are we allowed to decide when we want our wedding or does the princess have to okay it first," Malia said.Stiles jumped to speak before anyone else could, "Yes! It's all up to you two!" He said shooting an accusatory glance towards Lydia, "It is your wedding after all."Malia nodded curtly."Fall. It'll be perfect!" Kira said, smiling widely.A collection of half finished fanfiction ideas I had back in ~2016.Includes:HogwartsApocalypseWedding DramaWhat the Future HoldsWolf-Mail





	Is this it? Is this what you wanted?

**Author's Note:**

> I've had an e-mail draft titled "hell yeah teen wolf" for so long it's become un-hell yeah. I just need to get these cursed words off of my hands. It was originally written as a fun thing for an old friend, but. :/
> 
> I'm happy to take these words and say goodbye forever!
> 
> And the obnoxious writing style? It was written in a different time and I was a different person, give me a break.
> 
> god forgive me...

"You can't be in the Slytherin common rooms."

"You can't be in the shut up, okay? This has nothing to do with you," Stiles snarked.

The Slytherin girl chiding the group huffed and walked away.

"Stiles be nice," Scott said.

"Listen, Scotty, if anyone's still upset that houses are mixing and hanging out together and spreading the love, then they can deal with it."

Scott sighed, "Do you have to make it sound so weird?"

Stiles shrugged, "I mean, yeah."

"What are you losers talking about?" Lydia greeted as she stepped into the Slytherin common room.

"Oh! Lydia. You look lovely as always, it matches your attitude to the tee," Stiles snarked.

Lydia huffed and gingerly sat by Scott who was sprawled across one of the plush chairs placed in front of the fireplace.

"Hi Lydia," Scott smiled cheerfully at the redhead beside him.

Lydia returned a friendly smile. "Why are you in here? We could be-"

"Shh! I know you aren't about to talk about the room of which no one is supposed to know about. The knowledge of the room that no one can know about has to stay within our friend group. The friend group who knows about the room." Stiles insisted.

Scott sighed while Lydia looked genuinely offended that he interrupted her. "Dude."

"Yes, Stiles, the room. Why are you in here when we could be avoiding your fellow Slytherins judging us?" Lydia asked sending a glare towards a first year looking at them.

"Do you really have room to talk about anyone judging anything?" Allison asked as she arrived taking a seat next to Stiles on the floor.

Lydia huffed meanwhile a wide grin broke across Scott's face, "Hi Allison!"

Allison smiled and turned to beam at him, "Hey Scott," she greeted warmly.

Stiles and Lydia both groaned, "You're right, Lyds. We could be in the room instead of here in front of them." Stiles stated primly standing.

"Agreed." Lydia said shortly and stood along with him.

Scott blinked and looked towards the two, "Are you leaving?"

Stiles narrowed his eyes at his best friend, "Are you going to gush about Allison and her dimples and her 'pretty, pretty hair, Stiles, it smells like apples!'"

Scott didn't even blush, just stood and offered a hand to his girlfriend and pulled her up, "Are we going to," he leaned in and whispered, "the room?"

Allison sighed and patted Scott's cheek, "Way to be conspiratorial, babe."

The four of them exited the Slytherin common room and made their way to the seventh floor avoiding prefects prowling the wide halls. They made their way into the Room of Requirement. Derek was already sat with Kira, Malia and Isaac. The group looked up and greeted the new comers.

Isaac huffed, "Are we practicing?" He asked moodily, gaze directed solely on Stiles.

Stiles squawked, "Oh, I'm so sorry Lahey. I just want to be prepared for when death inevitably decides to come pay us a visit. But, you are certainly welcome to sit this session out."

Isaac opened his mouth to retort but was interrupted by Lydia, "No, we are definitely practicing. Everyone up, wands out."

Isaac sighed but stood regardless, unwilling to disappoint Lydia in fear of what she would do to anyone who dare defy her. The group lined up, Stiles and Lydia in front and the others spaced out across the room.

Malia stretched her shoulders and raised her wand, "Let's get this over with," she took a deep breath and confidently spoke, "Expecto Patronum!" A badger appeared out of thin air and searched the room for danger. Just like it's caster, it was straight to the point, uncaring; here to fuck shit up.

"Great job, Malia!" Stiles encouraged.

Malia groaned, "You're not a professor, Stilinski. Get over yourself."

Stiles sighed and shook himself off, "I'm trying to keep a positive spirit going here."

"It's okay buddy!" Scott beamed and raised his wand haphazardly, "Expecto Patronum!" A golden retriever appeared and ran about the room. Scott was just an actual puppy and he will play fetch. It's been scientifically proven.

Lydia hummed, "You're improving, nothing caught fire and you actually conjured something."

"Hell yeah, dude!" Stiles exclaimed and raised his fist and Scott knocked his own against Stiles'.

"I'll go next," Allison offered, presenting a warm smile. She straightened up and lifted her wand, "Expecto Patronum!" A roar broke it's way through the room as an Indominus Rex began stomping around the room.

Kira cheerfully extended a hand towards the specter and it reluctantly bent to rest its face against her palm.

"You're so good at that, Allison. You're so pretty and smart," Scott praised.

Allison smiled indulgently and patted his shoulder, "Thanks, Scott."

Lydia cleared her throat gently, "I second that statement, Allison. Perfect as always. Just with less," she directed a disdainful look at Scott, "desperation."

Scott paid no attention to the jab and continued to smile at Allison. Stiles brought his hands together, "Isaac? Would you like to go next?" He asked hopefully.

Isaac stood and raised his wand nervously. He took a deep breath and timidly called out, "Expecto Patronum!" A bush baby tentatively wandered the room. Isaac smiled shyly. His Patronus was sad and small representing him well; much like a bush baby, Isaac will die of loneliness if left alone.

"Perfect," Lydia said, sending a genuine smile towards Isaac. He flushed slightly at the praise and smiled in return. He walked to the back of the room to join Malia who was lounging carelessly, keeping a close eye on the others in the room. She smiled at Isaac when he sat by her.

"Are you going to order everyone around like a tyrant or are you going to perform as well?" Derek asked dryly.

Stiles scoffed, "Oh I'm so sorry, Derek." He saltily raised his wand and passively aggressively proclaimed, "Expecto Patronum!" A fox shot into the room, scurrying about. A mischievous being; a little shit. Stiles smirked, proud of himself. "How's that? Happy now, baby boo? Are you satisfied?" Stiles goaded.

Derek smiled, "Positively." He stood straight from where he was leaning against the wall, "Expecto Patronum!" A sheep ironically bustled through the room; a herd animal. Derek returned to his shadows and peered through the darkness around the room.

Stiles had a sour expression on his face. Lydia rolled her eyes, "If you two are finished. Well done, Derek."

"Expecto Patronum!" Kira declared unexpectedly. A hummingbird darted through the room, dashing to each person. Kira, much like her Patronus, was an excitable girl, but not to be provoked.

Stiles released a breath, "Wow, Kira. Thank you for the warning by the way," he glared companionably at her and she smiled apologetically, "Startling, but perfect. Maybe warn us next time?"

Kira smiled on, "Sorry," she laughed, "I got excited."

"I think you did great. Spontaneity is great," Malia encouraged from her sprawled out position.

Kira blushed, "Thanks."

Malia lazily gazed at Lydia, "You haven't cast yet."

Lydia primly rose her wand, "Expecto Patronum!" A bunny hopped gracefully through the room, peering about. Cute, knows your secrets, and will attack. "There. Everyone can conjure a Patronus. Was that so taxing?" Lydia asked. No one answered, just lounged about. Allison patted the cushion next to her, Scott gazing dreamily at her from her other side. Lydia sniffed and sat gingerly beside the brunette.

Stiles rolled his sleeves up and made his way towards the back of the room where Malia was still sprawled across the sofa there, her head in Kira's lap as the latter braided her hair. Isaac was comfortably leaned against the couch, eyes peacefully closed. Stiles took a seat next to Derek who was looking back at him, "How's the loser squad doin' back here?"

Derek flicked him in the nose, but accepted Stiles' weight when he pushed against his shoulder.

"Shut up, Stiles," Isaac said halfheartedly, eyes still closed, "Just enjoy the quiet."

"Stiles can't stay quiet, you know that," Scott teased.

Stiles turned towards him, "Shouldn't you be doting over Allison?"

Scott laughed and shrugged, "Probably."

Stiles smiled and turned back to Derek and pillowed his head against his shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something else like he always does, but Derek nudged him, "Shh. No speaking, just quiet."

Stiles shrugged and settled into the comfortable sleepy silence of the room, surrounded by the people that, for some reason, he called his best friends.

It started in California, of course. There was a flu that was going around; fever, fatigue, an incapability to control any and all bodily functions. No one thought much of it; get your flu shots, wash your hands, stay hydrated. Normal flu stuff. Then people started dying and then, understandably, freaking the fuck out. The only problem with the whole death thing, besides the obvious death, was that once someone died, they didn't stay dead. It wasn't in the news, that people were coming back to life. They kept it hush hush. But being in the supernatural business, word got around to the pack. Why wouldn't an impossible to overcome sickness become their problem on top of the monster-of-the-week and the whole inevitable death looming over their heads every day. Once it got out to the general public that people were not only dying but coming back to life, anarchy erupted. Everywhere. People started to quarantine anyone who was sick, anyone who had as much as a cough. And the killing started. When isolation didn't cure the sick, the only solution was murder. But then the sick kept dying and then coming back to life and then attacking. Word got around that people were being bitten, mauled, eaten alive. Spreading. It didn't take long for government to shut down and along with it socialization. Luckily, the citizens of Beacon Hills had experience with dealing with dangerous, murderous situations. The whole werewolf thing didn't hurt either.

"Be careful with that!" Lydia scolded, "Actually, just give it to me, you can't be trusted."

Scott winced as Lydia confiscated the bottle of unidentified liquid, "Sorry, Lyds."

Lydia sighed, "It's fine. Just- hands to yourself."

Scott huffed, "I'm not six."

"Then act like an adult," Lydia bit.

Scott pouted and turned away. He caught sight of Malia who was standing at the window, tensed and ready for a fight. "Hey," he said carefully, "You okay?"

She half turned and looked over her shoulder quickly returning her gaze to the window, "I don't like to be cooped up. Makes me uneasy."

Scott nodded. They were under strict orders to stay in the Sheriff's Station, ("I mean it, Scott. Do not leave. Not a step outside this establishment. Lydia, I'm counting on you to keep them in order.")

After everything went to shit, half the population of Beacon Hills, California perished. Those who survived congregated together into a strip of what was left of town. Then half the population of Beacon Hills II also died. Some took off in search of better conditions, the others stayed, mostly finding refuge in the Sheriff's Station.

"Shouldn't they be back by now? I know it's cliché, but," Malia breathed in deep then released it all as if deflating, "They should be back. It'll be dark soon."

Scott squeezed her shoulder lightly, "They always come back. Give it some time."

Malia furrowed her brows further but didn't say anything.

Scott didn't start to worry until about two hours later when the sun was flirting with the landscape and Lydia kept looking away from her work space to glance at the door. Lydia held the most patience out of them all, able to remain calm for ages. But she was visibly worried now. Scott joined Malia, who had not moved from her spot before the window, once again. When he stood beside her, she didn't look at him but pressed her shoulder into his side.

It was nearing dark before Scott heard anything. It sounded like shuffling and quick, nervous breaths rather than the usual companionable bickering and quiet laughter that followed the rest of his group.

He and Malia, due to their supernatural hearing, were bolting out the door, both sensing the danger and abandoning Lydia. They ran side by side through the various barriers and wreckage that decorated the entrance into the Sheriff's Station. When they came to a stop in front of Kira, Derek, and Stiles, they froze in confusion. The group left with the intention of a routine scavenge, a regular occurrence. Instead of supplies, Derek and Kira were supporting a gangly, half-conscious blonde between them and Stiles was carrying a slight dark haired girl on his back.

Malia was the first to speak, "What's going on?"

Stiles waved her off as best as he could without dropping the girl, "They're hurt."

At Malia's questioning look, Kira clarified, "They aren't bitten."

Malia mechanically took the girl from Stiles and cradled her into her arms, her and Stiles both knowing she could get the girl inside quicker than he could. The two of them ran ahead into the Sheriff's Station. Scott rushed to help Derek and Kira support the boy held between them. When they made it through the doors, the girl was already laid out on a table and Lydia was hovering above her, checking over her and asking questions, Stiles answering as quickly as they left her mouth.

Derek muscled the boy onto a table across the room and Stiles flitted over to him, checking over him thoroughly. Malia and Kira were off to the side, Kira worriedly looking over the two new people in their care. Malia was holding Kira's shoulders firmly, worriedly checking her over.

Kira brushed her off gently, "I'm fine. It's okay. Don't worry." She smiled warmly at her girlfriend, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on Malia's cheek.

"What happened?" Scott suddenly asked.

Stiles glanced towards him before returning his gaze to the boy laid out in front of him, "They were in the woods-"

"The woods? Why were you out that far?" Malia interrupted.

Derek looked towards her, "Something was wrong." He clarified, tapping his nose indicating his werewolf senses alerted him of danger.

Stiles continued as if he was never interrupted, "She was unconscious," he said easily, tipping his head towards the girl, "This one was barely awake, he wasn't able to say much, so you know just about as much as we do." He waved a hand through the air and stepped away from the table, frowning, "Something about leaving a group, that they ran into trouble. After that, he passed out."

"He's a wolf." Malia said bluntly.

Derek nodded, "He didn't seem inclined to do anything about it, so we shouldn't either."

"Are you sure we can trust him?" Malia pressed.

Kira fixed a gaze upon Malia, "He hasn't given us a reason not to trust him. Give him a chance." Malia dropped it, but still looked wary.

"How is she?" Stiles directed at Lydia.

Lydia looked up at him and then returned her gaze towards the girl on the table, "She seems okay aside from the fact that she's unconscious, she's okay. None of these cuts are too deep, she won't even need stitches," Lydia looked up, "What do you intend to do with them? Why bring them here?"

Kira gasped, "Lydia! They were hurt. We weren't going to leave them out there to die." Kira said firmly.

Scott winced, "Lydia's kinda right. Do we really have space for more people?" He said guiltily.

Stiles opened his mouth to reply, but abandoned any intention to speak when the boy in front of him shifted and groaned. Derek rounded the table to Stiles' side and braced an arm against his chest, pushing him back. "He's not going to attack, Derek." Stiles said forcefully. Derek said nothing, he kept his arm against Stiles' chest. The boy shifted once again before his eyes shot open and he jerked upright. Stiles pushed forward jostling Derek's arm out of the way, "Hey, it's okay. You're safe here." The boy attempted to push himself away from Stiles, nearly falling off the table, but Scott rushed to his side saving him from crashing to the ground. The boy ripped his arm from Scott's grasp and Scott backed away from him, Stiles and Derek giving him space as well.

Upon noticing the boy's gaze on his companion, Lydia spoke softly, "She's okay. She should be awake soon."

The boy still looked scared. Kira smiled gently from where she was behind Malia, "What's your name?" She asked warmly.

The boy looked warily around the room, gaze settling upon each person in the room before resting on Kira uneasily, "Isaac. My name is Isaac." He looked worriedly towards the girl laid out on the table across the room, "She's Allison."

Stiles nodded, "How are you feeling? Everything's healed up now, but I can't say much for internal injuries," Isaac looked shocked, "Oh! Yeah. Werewolves. Your secret that's not really a secret, considering the group you've found yourself in, is safe with us."

Isaac nodded confusedly then looked towards Allison, "Thank you." He said shakily, looking around the room, "For helping us."

Kira smiled wide and warm, "Of course! You're safe with us."

Isaac looked unsure. Allison stirred. Isaac was across the room and at her side immediately, "Ally?" He asked softly, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

Allison stirred once more and opened her eyes only to shut them when met with the bright lights in the room, "Isaac?"

"Hey. It's okay," he said gently. She opened her eyes once again and jerked back when she saw Lydia hovering above her. Her hand sluggishly reached towards her ankle, but Isaac looped his hand around her wrist before she could draw a weapon. "Hey, it's fine. It's safe."

Allison blinked slowly and went to sit up, Isaac helping her up, "What's going on? Who are these people? Isaac, where are we?"

Stiles jumped to explain, " You were passed out and we found you in the woods," he said gesturing between himself, Kira, and Derek, "I'm Stiles. This broody guy is Derek," he introduced, gesturing towards Derek, "We've got Scott, Kira, and Miss Looks-Aggressive-But-I-Promise-She's-Not Malia," he said pointing them out respectively, "And your gracious savior is Lydia." He finished with a grand gesture towards Lydia, who was still hovering close to Allison. "This is the Sheriff's Station, or what used to be the Sheriff's Station, in none other than Beacon Hills, California."

Allison and Isaac both looked overwhelmed and nonplussed. "You get used to him, I promise," Scott said easily.

Isaac nodded slowly while Allison quirked a small smile.

Allison took a deep breath and gave Isaac a soft look, "I guess that means we have to get comfortable, huh?"

"Not in the summer, that's too hot. I'm not getting my makeup done for two hours just to sweat it all off, use some common sense." Lydia argued.

"But the winter-" Malia attempted.

"Winter? Are you kidding? Why would you even suggest that? That's garbage." Lydia objected.

"Fall. Not too hot, not too cold; a perfect mix, and, according to the supernaturally inclined, it smells nice." Kira offered.

"But, you still haven't answered, Malia. What color do you want your dress?" Lydia pressed, smile tight.

Malia scoffed and slumped further into Lydia's couch, "I told you what I want, you just don't like it. Traditional weddings aren't required."

"They're traditional for a reason!" Lydia snapped. She released a breath and calmed herself, "Okay, Malia, all you said was that you wanted roller skates and a mid-thigh dress." Malia opened her mouth to argue, "No, Malia. No sharks. I know that you don't want traditional, and even though sharks are not traditional, you may not have them at your wedding."

"I think I want a pink dress," Kira said thoughtfully, smiling blankly while lost in her thoughts.

Lydia's eye twitched, but she pressed on regardless, "Pink? Wow." She nodded, "I can work with pink. What hue?"

Kira blinked, "Hue? Like an actual number? I don't know hues, Lydia. I was thinking maybe like, fuchsia," she finished off wistfully, trailing her hands through the air in front of her.

"Fuchsia." Lydia took a deep, angry breath in through her nose, "Maybe something a little more," she glanced at Malia who was staring back hostilely, "wedding appropriate. This isn't a middle school dance, girls, this is a ceremony. Weddings represent love and loyalty. You are coming together to-"

"Aren't you the one who said that love was just 'a neuro-chemical con job'?" Scott interrupted innocently, wide-eyed puppy gaze fixed intently on Lydia.

Lydia tore her gaze away from the brides and seethed at him, "This is a wedding! Not a joke! It will be beautiful, everyone's parents will be there and everyone will cry, Scott, or so help me there will be blood."

Scott blinked at her.

"Alright, yeah. Super weddings, it's great, but why are we here?" Stiles whined, waving a hand through the air and accidentally hitting Isaac, who had fallen asleep on his shoulder, in the face. Isaac half-heartedly growled at him and took Stiles' hand into his own to stop him from flailing. "You said it was gonna be a 'super fun wedding planning party' but we've been here for an hour and a half and all you've done is argue with everything our lovely brides have said."

"Shut up, Stiles. We're planning a wedding, get over it," Lydia chastised.

Stiles groaned, throwing his head back and struggling to pull away from Isaac and Allison who had cuddled him in from both sides. When he finally managed to stand, they fell into the space where he had been, falling into each other. They both made small complaining noises and curled around each other sleepily. "Okay!" Stiles said, walking forward to the coffee table Lydia was perched on, peering forward at Malia and Kira, notebook in hand. He pushed her to the side, earning many offended slaps in his direction. He sat beside Lydia and stared into Kira's eyes. "You want a fall wedding, right?" He asked, glancing between the brides.

"Are we allowed to decide when we want our wedding or does the princess have to okay it first," Malia said.

Stiles jumped to speak before anyone else could, "Yes! It's all up to you two!" He said shooting an accusatory glance towards Lydia, "It is your wedding after all."

Malia nodded curtly.

"Fall. It'll be perfect!" Kira said, smiling widely.

"Great! Write that down, Lyds," Stiles said.

Lydia pouted but wrote in her notebook regardless.

"Fuchsia?" Stiles asked carefully, "I like the pink, you look great in it, but maybe less bam and more woah, ya know?" He splayed his hands before him, palms parallel to the ground, "Maybe a blush? Those are in."

Kira looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded, "I like that. And, Malia, maybe you could do a blush, but less pink, more neutral."

Malia shrugged, "I don't really care what I wear. All I want is for you to be happy," she smiled kindly at Kira, "and for you to be at least a little pissed," she directed at Lydia.

"Oh no!" Scott said frantically.

"It's fine, calm down," Isaac said walking towards the front door. Before Scott could reply, his husband had already opened the door letting in the Stilinski-Hale children. "Oh my god, ew, Isaac how could you?" Scott complained as the two children wrapped themselves around him, talking over each other incessantly.

Stiles appeared in the doorway, "Scotty! Sorry about that, they're a little ravenous this morning," he greeted cheerfully. He walked to Isaac and pulled him in for a hug, "Hey buddy, where is your little monster?"

Isaac pulled away laughing, "Unlike yours," he said pointedly, untangling Marmaduke from Scott and his sister, "our child is not a monster." He lifted the boy onto his hip and Marmaduke happily nuzzled into his neck.

"Stiles, after all of these years." Scott said from the floor, "After all these years of friendship. This is what you do. Let your children attack me." He looked up at his friend, "I thought you loved me?"

Stiles laughed, "Shut up, Scott." He walked over to Scott and lifted Talia up, "She's a good girl," he leaned in to rub his nose against his daughter's.

Talia leaned away from him, "I'm not a dog, dad. I'm not a good girl."

Stiles sighed, "Derek!" He called over his shoulder, "Come get your daughter! She's being mean to me!" When Derek didn't reply, he placed Talia back onto Scott who was still pouting on the floor, "I gotta go find him before he runs off into the woods." He began walking towards the door, still talking as always, "You wouldn't believe how often I have to chase him down and remind him that, 'no, Derek, you are not a creature of the night, you have a family and obligations,'" he trailed off as he walked out of the house.

"Where's Camden?" Marmaduke asked, wriggling out of Isaac's grasp.

Isaac placed him as carefully as possible due to the violent wiggling coming from the kid, "Upstairs. Bring him down, please." Marmaduke and Talia both flew up the stairs. Isaac smiled then looked down at Scott, still on the floor, "Get up, Scott, what are you doing?"

Scott shrugged, "Just loungin'," he answered lazily.

Isaac nudged his side with a socked foot, "Stop. Stop this."

Scott groaned but sat up, "This better? Will you get off my dick now?"

Isaac frowned at him, "Disgusting."

"I found him! He saw a squirrel, super exciting stuff," Stiles exclaimed as he entered the Lahey-McCall home once again, Derek in tow.

"It wasn't a squirrel, Stiles, I'm not a dog-," Derek began.

"Don't care, big guy," Stiles patted his husband on the cheek, "I'm gonna go take a nap," he announced and started towards the living room.

"Wait," Scott turned so he was facing Stiles' retreating form, still on the floor, "You came here to give us your kids and now you're just gonna nap?"

Stiles tapped his nose, "Precisely! Night night!"

"What an asshole," Isaac said cheerfully. He turned his gaze towards the door, Derek and Scott mimicking him.

"They're here." Derek said gravely.

The door was thrown open, crashing against the wall, "Guess who's here, motherfuckers!" Allison proclaimed, kicking open the door.

"Children! There are children here, Allison!" Kira scolded, hands hovering around her son's shoulders as he precariously climbed the stairs.

Allison looked over her shoulder at Kira, then down at her young son, "Fuck 'em." She said carelessly, shrugging her shoulders as she walked in. She walked into the living room, high-fiving Isaac and sending a wink towards Scott on her way.

"Ay! It's Allison!" Stiles called loudly when she entered.

"You know it is! Ay!" Allison returned.

Scott huffed and looked towards the front door, wondering how it was still on its hinges after years of this, "Hi Kira!" He greeted.

"Hi Scott!" Kira called from the stairs leading to their front door, her son still attempting to climb up. Lydia brushed past her, leading two kids by the hand behind her.

"Allison!" She screeched as soon as she set foot in the house.

"Yes, my beautiful banshee wife?" Allison called sweetly.

"Are you going to help with the kids?" She asked hotly.

"I brought them into this world, I think you can handle getting them into this house, babe." Allison countered smoothly.

Lydia huffed, a faint smile on her lips. She released her kids' hands, "Go play with- I don't know, anyone, okay? Be good for two seconds." She spun on her heel, hair fanning out like fire behind her. She passed Kira once again, still coaxing her son up the stairs.

Malia stepped up onto the porch, shooting a disdainful look towards Kira, cradling the animal in her arms tighter to her chest. "Good luck with that one."

"He is doing his best, Malia!" Kira argued.

Malia shrugged and walked into the kitchen, "Hey losers." She stroked the animal napping in her arms.

"Hi Malia," Isaac greeted. He warily looked towards Malia's sternum, "Is that thing safe to be around the children?"

"What?" Malia snarled, the animal rousing only to glare at the blond, "Kiley is fine, Lahey." She flounced towards the living room, Kiley looking over her shoulder disdainfully.

"It's Lahey-McCall and you know that," Isaac said.

"Hell yeah it is, babe!" Scott cheered from the floor.

Derek furrowed his brow, "You're still on the floor?"

Scott smiled, "Yeah."

Lydia passed Kira and her son once more, shooting a worried look towards her friend. Behind her trailed two more children. She pulled her hands from theirs and pushed them forward, "Go. Go play with your friends, mommy is done with you." The last two Martin-Argent kids ran off in the direction of the others and Lydia stepped forward towards the rest of the parents, Derek sliding her a mug. She took it gratefully, sending him a tired smile, "Thanks," she took a sip and hummed, "That's not coffee at all," she stated, taking another long drink, "That's straight vodka." Derek nodded and Lydia leaned against the counter, nursing the mug.

"Yay! You did it, Satomi! Mommy's gonna be so proud!" Kira praised her son as he finally entered the house.

"I'm not proud of that child!" Malia called from the living room.

"Fuck kids!" Allison agreed easily.

"Don't fuck kids, Ally." Stiles said tiredly.

Kira simpered for a moment, then smiled once again, "Come on!" She lifted her son into her arms and walked into the kitchen, passing Scott who was still on the floor, "You're on the floor, Scott."

"I am, it's great." Scott said.

Kira shrugged and plopped down beside him, Satomi fidgeting along the way.

Derek offered her a mug which she took graciously, "Thanks, buddy!" She took a sip and choked immediately, "That's straight vodka!"

Derek nodded.

"It's nine in the morning!"

Derek nodded.

Kira looked at him quizzically for a moment longer before downing the mug and slamming it on the floor beside her.

"Dude," Isaac said.

"Der?" Stiles called from the living room.

Derek immediately walked into the living room. Kira stood, lifting her son along with her and following Derek.

Isaac slid his hands under Scott's arms and lifted him to his feet. "No more floor," Isaac said seriously.

Scott giggled, "Okay."

In the living room, Stiles was sprawled face down on one of the couches, feet pressed against Allison's leg. Derek was crouched beside him, carding his fingers though his husband's hair. Malia was on another couch mirroring the other, Kiley sleeping soundly on her chest as she smoothed a hand over her fur.

"What?" Derek asked.

Stiles lazily turned his face towards Derek, "Hey."

"Was that all?"

"My nose itches."

"And?" Derek asked.

"Will you scratch it for me?" Stiles smiled sweetly.

Derek flicked him.

Stiles scoffed, "Derek! How could you?"

"Shut up." Derek turned and leaned against the couch, stretching out across the floor. Stiles sleepily slid his fingers through Derek's hair, petting him.

Kira smiled and walked to sit beside Malia, Satomi landing in her lap when she sat. Satomi reached a deft hand out to stroke Kiley's fur.

Kira took Satomi's hand into her own, "No, baby, Kiley is a wild animal, we don't pet those."

Malia glared towards her wife, "Kiley is a cat, Kira."

Scott gallivanted and slipped onto the cushion on Malia's other side, "That's a coyote," he said innocently.

"A cat." Malia argued.

"Cat's aren't that big, Malia. Or that muscly. Or growly," Stiles said lazily. He sniffed, "Cat's don't bark either."

Malia glared, "This is why we broke up."

Allison chortled, "That and a few other things."

"The gay thing?" Lydia chirped as she fluttered into the room, gracefully perching beside Allison on the arm of the couch.

"'M bi," Stiles argued into the couch cushion.

Isaac nodded, "The gay thing." He frowned, "Also. Where are the kids?"

Kira smiled, "We've got ours right here," she said sweetly as she bounced Satomi on her lap.

"Kiley is our child too, Kira." Malia said, dragging her fingers through Kiley's thick fur.

Kira sighed, "Both of our children, then." She said tiredly, patting the animal's butt. Kiley wagged her tail happily.

"I don't care about your children," Derek said as he stood, Stiles' hand losing its place in his hair.

"Derek! You're soft!" Stiles complained as Derek exited the living room, Isaac and Allison following him.

Their super cool werewolf hearing led them to the backyard. Allison opened the door revealing Talia Stilinski-Hale in a tree, carelessly sitting among the branches, throwing an occasional pine cone down at the children below her. Victoria Martin-Argent is trying to keep her two youngest siblings, Natasha Martin-Argent and Christian Martin-Argent, from accidentally killing themselves in a fashion suitable for children under five. Victoria keeps running in between the two toddlers, unable to keep their hands in hers and unable to keep them from wandering off in different directions. Marmaduke Stilinski-Hale and Camden Lahey-McCall, best friends just like their fathers, are darting around, trying to draw the two youngest Martin-Argent's attention only to cause Victoria more stress. Ysgramor Martin-Argent is carelessly laying in the middle of all of the chaos, dragging his fingers through the grass, gaze pointed towards the clouds.

Derek steps out into the yard, scooping Christian into his arms before he disappears into the woods, "Talia! Get down." He calls up to his oldest.

Talia swings herself upside down on the branch, "We both know that I'm not going to come down, dad." She says, a mischievous grin lighting up her face.

"Talia. You're going to fall. Come down." Derek spoke again, bouncing Christian absently on his hip. Behind him, Isaac corralled Marmaduke and Camden, their hellish attention no longer on torturing Victoria, but now focused solely on Isaac.

Talia looked thoughtful for a moment, "I'm a werewolf, first of all, I'm not gonna fall," she swung herself back up onto the branch and began slowly climbing higher, "Second, I don't really wanna come down. Do you see what's going on down there?" She asked, gesturing towards where Camden and Marmaduke were trying to climb Isaac and Victoria was hopelessly sprawled on the grass beside Ysgramor, who still had not moved. Allison was standing over the pair of cloud gazers, holding Natasha's hand to stop her from wandering off.

Derek frowned, "Yes, Talia, you are a werewolf, but you are not indestructible," he said, repeating what Stiles had told all of the supernatural healers on several different occasions, "You can still get hurt, now come down."

Talia opened her mouth to argue once again, coy expression on her face, but was interrupted by an impatient, "Talia!" Talia looked towards the sound of her upset father's voice, mischievous expression falling from her face. "I know you're not in another tree after I've told you you're not allowed to climb," Stiles said, walking across the yard, a hand on his hip and the other pointing an accusatory finger at his daughter. Talia went to reply but was cut off by Stiles, "Because it looks like you're in another tree after I've told you to stay out of them." He came to a stop beside Derek.

Talia sighed, "Dad! It's fine, I'm not-"

Stiles interrupted her before she could finish, "I don't wanna hear it, kiddo. Get down." He walked around the tree as Talia began climbing down, "What would your grandfather say if you fell out of a tree? He would be heartbroken. No! He would have a heart attack! And after that he would revoke your father's and I's parenting licenses, he is the Sheriff after all." He squinted up into the sunshine falling through the trees as he tracked Talia's progress down the tree, "We would be left with Marmaduke! No one wants to be left alone with Marmaduke, Talia! He's smelly."

Talia jumped the last few feet from the tree and landed in her father's arms, "He is smelly."

"I'm not smelly!" Marmaduke argued from Isaac's shoulder.

"I don't think you're that smelly." Camden said with a wide smile, hanging from his father's arm.

"Wait." Derek said, drawing everyone's attention, "Where's Christian?"

"You were holding him!" Allison accused, whipping around in search for her son. Her gaze rested when she saw Christian at the tree line, "Christian! Stay away from the woods, darling, this is Beacon Hills," she scolded the two year old, "It's too dangerous, we don't need another-" she froze when she saw a figure in front of her son, obscured by the shadow cast by the trees. She pulled Christian behind her, Isaac and Derek running to her side and Stiles herding the children inside. The wolves were tensed for a fight, half shifted, Allison reaching for the dagger she kept in her boot.

"Woah, guys! Calm down," a voice said stepping out of the shadows, "It's me!"

Allison tucked her weapon back into her boot, the werewolves on either side of her shifting back, "Are you fucking kidding me, Liam?"

The short man stepped around them, Isaac arcing around him in distaste, "Sorry, guys. Just wanted to stop by for a visit," he said agreeably.

"So you were going to lure my son into the forest?" Lydia chastised, stepping out into the backyard.

Liam cringed, Derek crossing his arms behind him. "I mean, I could have made a better entrance, but," he shrugged, unsure smile spread across his face, "I'm here now!"

Stiles snorted, "You sure are, buddy."

From: my-crazy-exgirlfriend-killed-my-entire-family-when-i-was-sixteen-why-did-you-do-that-kate-you-said-you-loved-me@hotmail.com  
To: nevergonnagiveyouup@gmail.com  
Subject: Stiles.

Stiles.  
Why won't you talk to me. I was outside your window last night. It took you a long time to fall asleep. You talk a lot in your sleep. You talked about Scott a lot. Wish you would talk about me in your sleep. Please talk to me.  
Derek.

From: nevergonnagiveyouup@gmail.com  
To: my-crazy-exgirlfriend-killed-my-entire-family-when-i-was-sixteen-why-did-you-do-that-kate-you-said-you-loved-me@hotmail.com  
Subject: woah there buddy maybe calm down

Hey Derek!  
You're a creepy guy, you know that? I'm pretty surprised that you have an e-mail. Not as surprised that it's @hotmail but that's okay. And what do you mean I won't talk to you? I saw you, like, a day ago when you were outside my window. My dad yelled at you? Remember that? Because you were outside my window? Stop loitering outside my window, dude. It's weird. Try to be a normal member of society, I know you have it in you.  
Love,  
Stiles.

**Take A Penny, Leave A Thought**  
"I disagree, but that's not shocking, considering I disagree with everything." - Stiles Stilinski  
"Stop talking." - Derek Hale  
"Allison is pretty." - Scott McCall  
"Oh, wowie! Here I am, bleeding once again because of werewolf bullshit! Boy howdy, I love my friends." - Stiles Stilinski  
"Where is my child?" - Sheriff Stilinski, Melissa McCall, Chris Argent, Ken Yukimura, Natalie Martin  
"My family is dead." - Derek Hale  
"Why can't we kill them?" - Malia Tate  
"Sorry." - Kira Yukimura, accompanied by a cute giggle  
"I am smarter and prettier than you and I am here to tell you why you are wrong." - Lydia Martin  
"Stiles is my best friend and I would die for him." - Scott McCall  
"Scott is my best friend and I have almost died for him on several different occasions, but that's okay because I love him." - Stiles Stilinski  
"I love you too, Scott." - Isaac Lahey  
"I'm afraid of freezers." - Isaac Lahey  
"Remember when I was alive? That was wild." - Erica Reyes

**In Commemoration**  
Erica Reyes, I know Erica was kind of a bitch, but fanfiction Erica is great and Erica in the end of season two is amazing, she just wanted to be a teenager and fucking Derek who destroys everything with his impulsive ass strolls in like, hey you wanna be a werewolf, I promise it will fix all your problems, what an asshole

Vernon Boyd, zero character in the show besides the fact that he likes Doritos, but fanfiction Boyd is super duper

Allison Argent, jimony christmas she didn't deserve to die and then with the whole nogitsune Stiles killing her because he was all void and shit, but Scott was like it's okay, bro, she was only my first love and she died in my arms, that's okay, bro

Heather, who died on her birthday

Paige, who was Derek's first love and did not deserve to die in a cave, she just wanted to play violin

Laura Hale, who was just trying to help her uncle and what did he do? He killed her. In half. Left her in the woods, dude, not cool

Talia Hale, no presence in the show, but incredible in fiction

Aiden, gosh, not the gay one, he didn't deserve it

Theo Raeken, he was so cute, I miss him, he was like Cato from The Hunger Games and now they're both dead, they're good characters they don't deserve it

Tara Raeken, honestly, she seemed like a pretty cool gal, but all that she did was die in a creek because of her dick brother and then, eight years later, drag him into hell

Evelyn Tate, a nice lady who took in a crazy little coyote child

Kiley Tate, the sister of coyote girl Malia Tate

**Author's Note:**

> A guide to the shitty future one:  
Talia Stilinski-Hale: the oldest; too much like her late Aunt Laura; nine  
Victoria Martin-Argent: second oldest; eight-and-a-half and will not let you forget it  
Ysgramor Martin-Argent: doesn't care; eight  
Marmaduke Stilinski-Hale: best friends with Camden; seven  
Camden Lahey-McCall: best friends with Marmaduke; seven  
Natasha Martin-Argent: five  
Christian Martin-Argent: second youngest; two years  
Satomi Yukimura-Tate: the youngest; one year
> 
> Regarding Wolf-Mail:  
Derek: my-crazy-exgirlfriend-killed-my-entire-family-when-i-was-sixteen-why-did-you-do-that-kate-you-said-you-loved-me@hotmail.com
> 
> Stiles: nevergonnagiveyouup@gmail.com
> 
> Malia (would have been): Iwasacoyotefornineyears@gmail.com
> 
> Scott (wouldhavebeen): coolguy13@gmail.com


End file.
